Month: April, 2010

welcome to girlfriends with aging parents

cataract surgery at 94

My siblings and I are having to convince our mom that she needs to undergo cataract surgery to help restore vision in one eye.  At her last eye exam, she tested legally blind in one eye and 20×80 in the other. Mom is in complete denial!  She is silent when we bring the topic up and goes to great lengths to read road signs etc out loud to us and comment about the weather (I’m sure to prove to us that her vision is fine).  I’m thinking some of her  behavior stems from the fact that our dad had cataract surgery some 40 years ago, when eye surgery and recovery were far more serious than it is today.  Also, our mom’s best friend had cataract surgery a few years ago and developed an eye infection which has left her nearly blind.  We are fearful that her poor vision will only lead to future falls (she just recovered from a cracked hip less than a year ago). We don’t want to harp on her, but we feel it a quality of life issue.  Toby & Norma, I’m curious whether anyone out there is dealing with a similar issue?

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we need each other

Sometimes I just need to have a conversation with a girlfriend. I can blow off steam, share my concerns and worries or just have a good cry. I can also bounce ideas off someone who understands what I am facing or has even lived through this phase themselves and has gained experience and knowledge they are willing to share.

Our parents need us. Mom won’t take her medicine. Dad shouldn’t be driving. Our siblings aren’t doing their part of the care-giving or decision- making. Our kids wonder why we are preoccupied with their grandparents.

So let’s talk. Write a comment. Share a thought. Express a concern. Give some encouragement. We’ll have a dialogue – all of us who are caring for elderly parents.

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