I felt like a misfit in the “sandwich generation” because my parents were in their mid thirties when they married–and my mother died before I was 40. My dad lived another 15 years (until 2000). At the time, I really had no guidance and very, very few friends to help me or to give me tools for moving on. Fortunately I have a close family, with four siblings who get along. We all called each other, helped each other, cried together, and kept my parents’ legacy going to this day.
I was very fortunate that my father was an estate-planning attorney and had gone over with me, the executor of his will, every step that needed to happen once he passed away. He did this 10 years prior to his death and it made the eventual work very predictable and seamless.
In that regard, I have sent our three adult children my last will and testament and have listed for them steps to take in the case of my death. They also have my account passwords, burial information, entrance to the safety deposit box, the name of our attorney…anything to help them with details. I believe that dialog and transparency is key and most of my girlfriends have no clue as to their parents’ plans or directives. That is sad to me.
Good luck, and keep the stories coming!!