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It has been very difficult for me to sit down and write a story about my mom. I only want to say nice things about her, but quite frankly that’s difficult. One day can be great and the next day I don’t want to be around her.
She is 87 years old and has the onset of dementia. My dad passed away at age 57. She lives at home alone with her dog. My mom refuses to have anyone live with her, to move into an assisted living facility or have help with the house. She requires a cane or walker. She is able to drive to the market and other chores.
My mom does not enjoy going out to eat because she has lost her taste. I basically have to get her into the car without telling her what we’re doing. She refuses to take anti-anxiety medication. She is constantly worried about everyone and everything.
I have two older brothers. One lives out of town and my oldest brother works. They basically leave the caring to me. I do everything I can. I see her perhaps 3 to 4 times a week. I talk to her several times a day to check in.
All of her friends are gone now. Her sister lives out of town. She refuses to go to organizations with other people her age, even if it is just for lunch.
I am married almost 35 years and have two grown children. Thank god for them. My husband is very understanding with aging parents of his own, who are also rather difficult.
Life has certainly changed the last five years!
I go to the gym three times a week. It certainly is nice having that time to myself. My best friend lost both of her parents in the last 5 years and helps me learn how to cope.
For someone who didn’t want to talk about this, I feel I better stop now. I’m taking my husband to San Francisco tomorrow. LOOKING FORWARD TO IT!!!
I know I am not alone in this difficult period of life.
Thank you Toby for including me on your website.
Jacki
/ December 25, 2011Your situation sounds a little like mine. My husb and I live 1500 miles from my 89 year old ma. Her 5 other children seem to think she is still 70 and can do everything she used to!!! I just want her to maintain her dignity and accept help from me. We plan to spend more time near her after the holidays. It does help to share all this.