Month: January, 2011

welcome to girlfriends with aging parents

decision about radiation treatment

radiation-therapy-machineMy husband, Jon, & I are having a discussion these days around whether my father-in-law should continue his radiation or not. My father-in-law is 89 yo and has skin cancer. He has completed almost two weeks of radiation therapy. On one day he says,” the radiation is difficult because I have to lay on a hard table but I feel better when it is over”. The very next day, my father-in-law says that he does not want any life sustaining measures taken and is not interested in continuing the radiation treatments. It is hard to know what to do since it seems that he is not thinking clearly. Really what is the point of radiation on a man of his age? We have decided to consult a geriatric specialist as well as an oncologist for further evaluation. In the meantime NO MORE RADIATION APPOINTMENTS!

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medications that don’t mix

medicationsOne of problems I have heard about lately, with my 84 year old Dad, is how poorly he feels (for no apparent reason). All of a sudden my dad has the jitters, feels miserable and cannot sleep. Because his complaints persisted without cause I decided to accompany him to his doctor’s appointment. This was a true education! I learned that my father has Diabetes and thyroid trouble. He is taking medication for both conditions. The physician seems to feel that the two meds are not compatible and are causing the side effects. All sorts of thoughts ran through m mind, like “why wouldn’t a physician know this?” or “who put my dad on these meds?” At any rate, I was glad to have been with my father, had an opportunity to talk with the doctor directly and problem solve to establish next steps. A word to the wise……get into those doctor appointments earlier!

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long distance

I found out over the weekend that my 88-year-old father living in Florida is suffering from bladder cancer. Since my husband and I live in Seattle, I am exactly at the opposite corner of  the country & unable to be there to help him through this.

It pains me and causes me great guilt to be so far away.  The only godsend is that my brother, sister-in-law, and my father’s (only) grandchildren live in Florida & are there to help him during this terrible time.

Hope this helps me & others gain perspective. . .as my brother said, there is never a “good time.”

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dad’s driving – help from his physician

elderly driverMy father was still driving at 92 but it was becoming apparent he was no longer able to navigate unfamiliar neighborhoods. My suggestions to call me for transportation were not well received! When I accompanied him to a doctor’s appointment with his geriatric specialist, I called ahead to alert the physician of my concerns regarding dad’s driving. During the appointment, the physician asked some leading questions of dad regarding his driving experiences of late and clearly stated to dad that he should no longer drive. The geriatric specialist said  furthermore, as his physician, he had an obligation to report dad to the licensing bureau if he did continue to drive. That was the end of his driving days, thankfully.

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