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My parents have always been ferociously independent. Their often repeated mantra over the years has been “we will never burden our children”. After a series of closely spaced physical maladies, my mom AND dad have seemingly changed overnight from wise elders to dependents ; unable to make a decisions - “strangers”. While I know they are frightened since their circumstances have changed so suddenly; I am also frightened as they have become helpless and unfamiliar. I desperately want to help them and am terrified of doing the wrong thing. I am rife with guilt: we live in different cities and while they would like me to be there 24/7, I have a husband, work, kids(albeit grown) and responsibilities at home. How does one find any semblance of balance? How do I say “no” or set boundaries for the people who raised me and have always been there for me?. How can I be there for them AND for everyone else, INCLUDING for myself?????
Carla
/ May 15, 2011I would recommend a Professional Geriatric Care Manager. This person would be there to help your parents and you by acquiring services, and monitoring their health.