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The famous AA Serenity Prayer says: “Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can & the wisdom to know the difference”. I think I have had an ‘ah ha’ moment.
I just returned from visiting my 84yo mother & 92yo step-father. Guess what my ‘ah ha’ moment was? They DO NOT WANT my input.
I have spent sleepless nights worrying about their next steps (in relation to their living situation, 2 story home). I have filled endless days worrying about what will happen the next time they call 911 to pick my step-father up off the floor or they call their 70yo neighbor & he finally says “no, sorry, this time I cannot come over”.
On the airplane ride home the epiphany hit me. My parents have NOT asked for my help OR MY ADVISE! W O W …. this is an eye opener! I am taking a deep breath, even as I write. Whose business am I in, as Byron Katie asks? I am going to practice being in my own business & in the moment.
Can ANYONE else relate? IF SO, Please comment … Submitted by Toby
Jenn Jilks
/ January 25, 2012I made the same speech to my late mother. She died, after I moved 430km to be with her. My father’s brain tumour precluded any cognisance and he was quite maleable. Been there. Tough love works for parents, too.
Judy-Lynn Richards
/ January 31, 2012congratulations on your ah-ha moment.
thinking that we know what is best for older people is so common and it is so misguided.
something i have been telling people for years is that their older parents are old enough to know what they want, what they can do and what they want to do….and, i don’t mind telling you my grandfather taught me that….