My mum called me ranting about my dad “He’s just so awful – I’m gong to look at a home to put him in!” She had already tried to get doctors to certify him as having dementia and finally succeeded with a memory test that I’m sure would have certified her and me as well! So at 89yo my dad has a normal amount of brain cell loss. My mum thinks that gives her some kind of ammo to rationalize moving him out of their condo. Mind you, this is the same condo she decided, unilaterally, to move them into while dad was recovering from a hip replacement a year ago. I know my mum’s scared of taking care of him and she ‘s backed into a corner by refusing to look at assisted living options, but I finally blurted “Go ahead, so you can finally get rid of him and be happy”. She didn’t talk to me for a month. Finally I confronted her to discover our blow up caused the family to talk to each other more honestly and my mum actually shifted her attitude to a more positive one. Like mother’s milk the other siblings are more open to helping my Dad and in turn he is happier and healthier. One person’s behavior can affect everyone around them in a good or a bad way. Can anyone else relate????
Submitted by Angelia in Sacramento