Month: April, 2012

welcome to girlfriends with aging parents

when a medical alert becomes alarming!

I have noticed that my 86 year old father has memory loss and while it is probably age appropriate, it has also made me wonder at times if overmedication is part of the cause. Then, when reading the New York Times, I saw that Federal health officials had released a safety alert regarding statins, which many seniors, like Dad, take for cholesterol. They said that there may be rare risks of forgetfulness, confusion, muscle pain and even diabetes. Lipitor, Vytorin, Crestor and Zocor were among those named.

This reminded me of when alerts were first released for Fosamax and other bisphosphonates which had been prescribed for my mother and her severe osteoporosis. After years on the drug, she suddenly lost her ability to swallow, also described as a rare side effect of this pill. She had never had any prior esophagus trouble, so Fosamax became suspect! Right?

How seriously should we view these warnings? Big drug companies understandably play down the side effects of these huge sellers. And how does one decide which is worse – using the drug to treat a serious medical problem and ignoring the “rare” consequences or refuse to take it and risk the health issue becoming much worse? Would love to hear from others how they weigh and make their decisions for both themselves and loved ones.

To read the article I refer to, go to: http://www.nytimes.com/2012/02/29/health/fda-warns-of-cholesterol-drugs-side-effects.html

submitted by Norma

 

 

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everything’s coming up roses

Sometime, a long time ago, my mom and I were always at odds, yet I learned young not to exacerbate any controversial situations. The writing, after all, was on the wall and the outcome, wholly predictable. Over the last 36 years, I have been practicing yoga, for the last decade or more as a flowing, breathing moving meditation called The FullBodyElixir(www.CalleyONeillYoga.com) In addition, I am reading the Abraham-Hicks works, listening over and over of late. Also, loving The Power of NOW and my all time favorite THE MASTER KEY SYSTEM by Charles Haanel. All of these systems I have tried actually, amazingly, effectively work to clear the neural pathways of our minds: programming from the pilikia (Hawaiian for troubles, or trauma and drama) to a conscious, sound, positive stable mind. We all are coming to know we are a result of all of our past thinking and we are getting our predominant thinking patterns back to us in the form of life’s relationship and situations.

What is amazing is that between my sister and myself, my mom, at a young 84 is waking up through persistently being pointed to the positive, to the positive, to the positive. To be the love that you want is truly the only answer. So my mom is an awakening being…a not so happy marriage, and still she wakes up everyday, letting it go and letting it go… and we keep sharing our evolution and she sees the results. We have gone from so much pilikia to this: at the end of every phone conversation… every single one, we sing… EVERYTHING’S COMING UP ROSES FOR ME AND FOR YOU…. and the more we focus on this the more it comes into our daily reality.

Watch your thoughts, they become your words, watch your words for they become your actions, watch your actions for they become your habits… watch your habits for they become your destiny…(old Chinese proverb)

I send this to you Toby, and all your readers with so much love and compassion and aloha,

submitted by Calley in Kamuela, HI

 

 

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canes, wheelchairs & awareness

A friend of mine, a polio victim, spends a lot of his time in a wheelchair. He’s comfortable with his situation now but only after having gone through much depression and angst. Another friend has walked with canes for most of her adult life after suffering an auto accident. She struggled through grit and determination, stayed out of a wheelchair for as long as she could. She now spends a lot of her time in a chair in order to get around more easily and without severe pain.

It’s astounding how unconscious people are! I’ve been with these friends in crowds, or even when we are just maneuvering down a street. When they are using their crutches or canes, they are terrified about being around other people. They don’t have much balance to begin with, so the slightest bump can send them reeling. When we’re walking together, I often feel like a blocking back opening a hole in the defense. I’ve practically smashed into people walking briskly right at us who seem to have absolutely no regard for who’s in front of them. And I’m not just talking about people on their cell phones!

I have had people crash into us; I’ve seen people almost knock my friends over; I’ve seen people stop short of crashing and then, almost incredulously, give them an evil stare as if to say, “How dare you impede my forward progress!”

There are many times that there are people in need, those with clear signs of difficulty like people using canes, crutches, and wheelchairs. But there are also those with an infirmity that no one notices who may need a little assistance. Seniors especially are vulnerable. Many have mobility issues, others don’t see or hear well. And their balance, even if they’re not using a cane or walker, is less stable.

Really, folks, we all need to slow down, look around, and be much more aware of those who might need a little assistance or move a bit more gingerly. It’s not asking much – I’m not even asking that you stop doing what you’re doing to help. Often there’s no help needed. Maybe just a bit more patience. I’m just sayin’.

Bart Astor (BartAstor.com) is a recognized expert in eldercare. His best-selling book,”Baby Boomer’s Guide to Caring for Aging Parents” is now in its second printing and is available electronically on Amazon and BarnesandNoble.com. He has appeared on numerous TV and radio shows, including ABC’s “Good Morning America” and PBS’s “MarketPlace.”

 

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Spring – a season of renewal & cleansing

Happy Easter and Passover! April is the month, this year that finds these two major religious festivals arriving on the same weekend. They are BOTH powerful holidays that speak to so many issues. For the caregiver in each of us, these festivals can be both bitter and sweet. We hopefully can be with friends and family. Yet, for many of us, we will sit down to a family Easter dinner or Passover seder very mindful that some people are not with us. Perhaps for the first time, we will struggle to find a sense of meaning beyond the pro-forma obligations of hosting or cooking or attending a service.

In that sense, I want to offer a small message that I hope you have a chance to think about. It is a message that comes, really, from the insights of both holidays. Both of these major events (so central to both Judaism and Christianity) speak to us in a profound way. The symbolism of the holidays carries with them a message of renewal and hope in the midst of great transition. The Easter story of Jesus and the Passover exodus from Egypt are powerful symbols of what is possible in our own life.

The stresses, burdens and joys of caregiving often provide us with opportunities to examine our own life. Both holidays propel us to consider that we need to not sacrifice our lives, dreams and hopes. They remind us that each of us can be renewed & in a sense, reborn, if we can shake the fear of change and growth and transition from our own souls. For so many who are feeling weighed down by the issue of caring for a loved one, these holidays can provide a sense of liberation and meaning. There is a higher purpose being served and this often lonely wandering, can provide a foundation for personal growth.

There is a tradition within the Jewish community as Passover nears, to clean out the non Passover acceptable foods (the leaven). There is a ritual that accompanies this cleansing. It is a metaphor for what these festivals can teach. Each of us, every year, is given the opportunity to clean out from our lives and souls, that which enslaves us. Easter and Passover, in their own ways, try and remind us that we are free to cross over our own personal sea and seek that which frees our souls. This transition does not come in a flash. It often is cumulative over time, until we arrive at a place in our life when we take all that has happened to us, embrace it and learn from it and move on into a future of our choosing.

May your holidays be sweet and joyous and healthy.

Rabbi Richard F Address, D.Min

www.jewishsacredaging.com 

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