I am crying tears of frustration! I’m exhausted, angry and ashamed of the way I am feeling. My husband gave me a stern lecture yesterday, saying that he felt we weren’t connecting and that he was no longer my prime concern.
For over a year now, I have been caring for my parents. They are in a retirement facility and both their physical and mental health has taken a rapid slide downhill. Little things send them into a tizzy: running out of Metamucil, a new toilet that has a flush that is too noisy, another buffet dinner in the dining room…
Yesterday my father complained of an urgent health problem, so I called his doctor and set up an appointment. The clinic is a 5 minute drive away from where they live. I am a half hour away and work full time, so was unable to come and take them. I suggested a taxi and checked with the clinic to make sure they would call a taxi for my parents to take them home afterwards. They reassured me that it would be taken care of. Turns out they wouldn’t and didn’t. After waiting an hour to see the doctor, when they were done, the receptionist told them they would have to call a taxi themselves and directed them to a phone. With no idea of the phone number for a yellow cab, they wandered around, finally asking the clinic’s parking lot attendant if he could get a cab for them. An hour later, they were still stranded, confused and panicked. Someone finally took pity on them and helped. Thank goodness my mother accompanied my Dad, as his memory is fading, leaving him confused and teary. I hate to think of what would have happened if he were alone.
Am I alone in feeling like a failure on all fronts? So many women must be in the same boat! How does anyone juggle it all, without feeling like you are ultimately letting everyone down?