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I have just moved from New York City to Montreal where my parents and siblings live. I am a 59yo Canadian & have two children 25 & 23yo. It was the perfect time to sell my home & move on. No more border crossings, no more long drives alone.
Now I am living in an apartment in the same building as my sister. I am on the 3rd floor , she is on the 5th. My dad lives in a retirement home 15 minutes away and my mom is still in her condo, 10 minutes from me.
This has been the best decision for my family and me. I feel a GREAT SENSE OF RELIEF being this close to my parents, at this stage of their lives.
For my dad’s & my relationship I am most grateful. I was constantly worried about his health as well as his care. For some time now, with several hospitalizations, I have seen a steady decline in his general well being. Luckily in Canada, the application for & payment of assisted living came without too many complications. His new home is well maintained & I know that his medical needs are being attended to. I could see what a challenge this was all becoming for my mom & her obvious resentment.
The way it is now, I can just drop in & brighten up my dad’s day with a 10-minute, one hour or two hour visit. Whatever we both feel like in that moment is how it works. This is bringing me peace of mind & a sense of joy.
Also, since my dad went to the nursing home, my mom is now living completely alone. I stop by to check in on her & pitch in with her chores. Although she selfishly did not want to be my dad’s caregiver, I think she misses the life they once had.
I am happy to help my three siblings, who have, so far, carried the responsibility of my elderly parents care on their own. I do not feel like this is a burden in any way. I am simply one more pair of hands or another body to be available for whatever comes up. Would love to hear comments from anyone else!
Submitted by Diane in Montreal, Canada
Corinium Care
/ October 10, 2012Some really good tips but someone always helping out with problems can relieve alot of stress and tension. I have seen how caregivers uk has been working with my friends family and I was really impressed with what services they received.
Drew
/ October 10, 2012Hello! ^u^
It is a beautiful thing that you love your parents and visit them often.
The memories and nostalgia that come from one’s family are some of the most valuable and emotionally powerful things that we can experience and receive in this lifetime.
I sometimes wonder just how much it livens up an elderly person’s day to have someone check in on them, or stop by just to hang out and spend time with them.
After all, people are social creatures and they get lonely.
I think more people should go out of their way to do an “adopt-a-grandfriend” kind of thing.
The elderly have a ton of experiences and wisdom to share, and interacting with them is an excellent way to garner a better insight into and perspective of the world.
Mehh, just my thoughts
Anyway, I wish you the best with everything!! :>
Sincerely,
~Drew
LuAnn Smith
/ October 24, 2012You’ve done a great job thinking outside the box in finding a workable solution for you and your aging parents. Kuddos to you!