Tag: faith

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lighting the lights of the soul

December 21, 2011

“Tis the season”, so they say. Here it is December & with it the arrival of what we now know as “the holidays”. Kwanzaa, Christmas and Chanukah come calling and with them the promiscuity of merchandising that marks our culture.

In the midst of all the seasonal hype it is easy to loose some of the symbolism of the season. Lights and light form a very powerful part of each of these festivals. No doubt these festivals, at the darkest part of the year, have their origin in some pre-historic pagan need to drive out the darkness. What I want to look at now is the power of light and what it means.

Light stands for many things in religious life: life, hope, faith & also memory. We who are, or have been care-givers, can relate to this in a powerful and personal way. Many of us now are watching the “light” of a loved one slowly fade. It is not easy. It demands great attention and it is filled with the reality of loss.

It is easy, especially at this time of year, to turn into ones self and allow the darkness of that loss or despair overwhelm us. Yet, that is where the lights of the season can speak to a higher reality. Let me suggest that the lights we light at this season are really a part of the light of our loved ones soul. We light these lights and the light they give off help to drive out the darkness of loss. We engage in the power and beauty of memory. It is a memory that may be tinged with some sadness, especially if the person we remember is no longer available to us. But the light of their life and their soul has been part of our own journey. Their light is now within us, and, as long as we remember, that light will remain.

That is also part of what we do as care-givers. We bring the light of our own soul to those to whom we minister. This is, in a very real sense, sacred work; which is why the command to “honor father and mother” is so central to all religious traditions. I hope this message of light finds some resonance to those who are caring for a loved one and may you find, in this season of family, life and memory, the power and strength to continue to bring the light of comfort to those in need.

Shalom,

Rabbi Richard F Address, D.MIn

www.jewishsacredaging.com

 

 

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embracing rituals

December 14, 2011

It seems as if the “baby boomer generation” has rediscovered the power of ritual. There has been an explosion in recent years of creative rituals that have sought to take new life stages and situations and place them within some type of holy or sacred context. In my research for my work on baby boomer’s spirituality, I have uncovered a variety of instances of these; from congregation wide services that honor the care-giver, to rituals that seek to bring meaning to more private moments and circumstances. Recently a colleague of mine sent me the draft of a ritual that she is submitting for publication in our professional journal.It is a Ritual of Release. She designed this to be used at moments of life transition; significant times when we are tasked with moving from one stage of life to another; often as a result of circumstances not of our choosing.

The ritual is designed to be done by the clergy person and the individual. It may be in public or private. The clergy person opens the ritual by commenting that life extends to us opportunities both for joy and for hurt and we can never really know how we will react until we are in the moment. This is followed by a statement by the individual who reads: “Past events have dictated that my life changed. These changes, while beyond my control, have taught me that I must mourn the loss of my self in some way. At present, I must look within to redefine myself and for the future move forward from these difficulties to embrace a full life. I know this is not an easy task but one that needs to be addressed for my health and well being.”

There follows another reading and a time for personal reflection, words or prayer. Some people who have created similar ceremonies literally enact the moment of transition by burying an item or burning it. In any event, there is some recognition that I am moving from one stage of life to another and gathering my resources for this transition. Transitions are difficult. The ability to have a faith tradition support these moments within the confines of prayer and ceremony can provide a meaningful moment that supports a person’s decisions, no matter how difficult that decision may be. Ritual can do that for us. It can be the bridge that spans moments of life and definitions of self as we change and grow.

Shalom,

Rabbi Richard F Address, D.MIn

www.jewishsacredaging.com

 

 

 

 

 

 

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family shift

May 10, 2010

After the death of our mother, there was an interesting relationship shift in our family.

The first four of my parent’s children were girls; the youngest was their only son. Our Italian mother easily interacted with each of her children, but our German father was more reserved. He didn’t engage in a lot of conversation or activities with his kids, though we knew we were dearly loved by him.

Our mother was the conduit of information among us, as we became independent and lived separately from our parents. We learned from her of births, deaths, illnesses, marriages and divorces in our extended family and friends. With two of the siblings living out of state, this lifeline to news was an important way for us to feel connected to people we rarely saw, but about whom we cared.

Once Mom was gone, we hoped Dad might fill this role of ‘family crier’. Not only would it keep us in the pipeline for information, but it would give us topics for conversation with Dad beyond the weather and sports. Unfortunately, he never filled those shoes (though others of my sisters did keep us up-to-date on the comings and goings of the people we knew), but Dad ended up filling an even more important role in my life.

While Mom liked sharing news, I learned that Dad would talk about meatier subjects, like faith and values. We enjoyed many hours, often very late into the night, talking about soul subjects. The later the evening grew, the more philosophical and deeper the conversations became.

Dad outlived Mom by nearly 15 years. As we laid him to rest, I realized that even though my mother was the parent who was so comfortable in day-to-day conversations with her children, my father was the parent who truly knew me.

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