Tag: ritual

welcome to girlfriends with aging parents

the theology of relationships – rave

Rabbi Richard Address has devoted his career to helping transform synagogues into caring communities. Now, in Seekers of Meaning, his newest and most personal work to date, he explores how the notion of a caring community can be transformative for individuals, particularly baby boomers struggling with issues of aging and mortality.

“Who am I? Why am I here?” These are questions that guide us–or haunt us–our entire lives. As we age, these questions take on new relevance, all the more so as we face the daunting challenges of our aging society. We are seeing the health of our parents decline. We are deferring retirement in a difficult economy. We are becoming caregivers for loved ones. We are struggling with our own issues of health and wellness. Where do we turn for guidance in navigating these uncharted waters? Where do we now seek meaning in our lives?

The answer, argues Rabbi Address, is to be found in our relationships. Using key texts from the Torah, he shows that the foundation of a happy and healthy life is the meaning we seek in it in the community of others–our family, our friends, our congregations–and in our most fundamental relationship, with the very Mystery behind our own existence. This “theology of relationships” can bring much needed change to the Jewish communities that have nurtured us for so much of our lives, and help us make for ourselves an older adulthood that is healthy and sacred.

 

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embracing rituals

It seems as if the “baby boomer generation” has rediscovered the power of ritual. There has been an explosion in recent years of creative rituals that have sought to take new life stages and situations and place them within some type of holy or sacred context. In my research for my work on baby boomer’s spirituality, I have uncovered a variety of instances of these; from congregation wide services that honor the care-giver, to rituals that seek to bring meaning to more private moments and circumstances. Recently a colleague of mine sent me the draft of a ritual that she is submitting for publication in our professional journal.It is a Ritual of Release. She designed this to be used at moments of life transition; significant times when we are tasked with moving from one stage of life to another; often as a result of circumstances not of our choosing.

The ritual is designed to be done by the clergy person and the individual. It may be in public or private. The clergy person opens the ritual by commenting that life extends to us opportunities both for joy and for hurt and we can never really know how we will react until we are in the moment. This is followed by a statement by the individual who reads: “Past events have dictated that my life changed. These changes, while beyond my control, have taught me that I must mourn the loss of my self in some way. At present, I must look within to redefine myself and for the future move forward from these difficulties to embrace a full life. I know this is not an easy task but one that needs to be addressed for my health and well being.”

There follows another reading and a time for personal reflection, words or prayer. Some people who have created similar ceremonies literally enact the moment of transition by burying an item or burning it. In any event, there is some recognition that I am moving from one stage of life to another and gathering my resources for this transition. Transitions are difficult. The ability to have a faith tradition support these moments within the confines of prayer and ceremony can provide a meaningful moment that supports a person’s decisions, no matter how difficult that decision may be. Ritual can do that for us. It can be the bridge that spans moments of life and definitions of self as we change and grow.

Shalom,

Rabbi Richard F Address, D.MIn

www.jewishsacredaging.com

 

 

 

 

 

 

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