Tag: safety

welcome to girlfriends with aging parents

senior driving: when is it time to stop?

As a child of aging parents we ask ourselves this very question. As a Certified Driver Examiner in the province of Ontario, I know when it’s time. Unfortunately senior don’t either.

In this province, every driver has to go for a written and vision test when they reach the age of 80, and every 2 years after. These folks got their drivers license before Driver Education classes began and there were not so many vehicles on the road.

My father (aged 87) told me he did his drivers test, landed on someone’s front lawn and the examiner jumped out of the car and threw the license at him saying “You passed”.

If someone is involved in a car accident (whether they caused it or not) at age 65 or over, they automatically have to go for a road test, which is a regulation.

In this province, the only one that can suspend a driver’s license for medial reasons is a doctor. It’s the law. When the family speaks to a senior’s doctor regarding concerns for unsafe driving, the doctor has to put the license under medical suspension. The file then goes to Medical Review at the Ministry of Transportation. The suspended driver has to prove they are competent to drive and the process begins. They have up to 3 years to take driving test to regain their license and have to see a doctor to establish that they are healthy enough to drive. Every province and state should adopt the same rules, as we frequently travel to each others country.

If you find yourself in the position of caring for your elderly parents, get some support.

Continue on with YOUR life, do the things that make you happy. Go to the movies; enjoy watching and participating in sporting events that you love. Perhaps get counseling. I did, it really helped. It helped me deal with their aging brains and not get upset at the weird things they said to me.

Seniors don’t realize their senses have diminished; their reaction time has lessened. It’s a known fact that seniors can suffer mini strokes while driving, usually lasting for only second, but that’s all it takes – right?

Once a senior has failed a driving test, the family usually becomes unhappy because they realize now they have to drive the senior around to appointments. But as a caring society, we have to stop being selfish – we can’t have unsafe drivers on the road.

I know the Cancer Society will arrange for transportation if a person is undergoing treatment. In my town the mobile bus (for people with disabilities) will come directly to the house to pick you up if you call before and arrange a time. There are options. If you inquire you can find assistance in your town.

Also, try to pace yourself and get support, from us, from other family members, from neighbors. It will all work out and you will be blessed for your efforts.

Submitted by Carol

 

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Alzheimer’s – my perspective

My mom spent the last few years of her life in a nursing home. She was content there in many ways, but I had a problem with it. I would go visit her and she would not be wearing her own clothes. It was distressing to me to see her in clothes that were not hers. Things obviously got mixed up in the wash, but it upset me. I learned that many things that upset me, did not upset her. I was suffering more than she was! I did learn to “let go” of the small stuff and focus on bigger issues like her safety and well-being which was being addressed at this home. It is difficult to see changes in your aging parents. I wanted my mom to act like she did when she was well and I had difficulty with her transition as she aged. If you have had a similar experience or thoughts about relating to a Mother with Alzheimer’s, can you share?

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help for families of older drivers

elderly driver

“Beyond Driving With Dignity”, a workbook for the families of older drivers to determine driving continuance or cessation-

Keeping Us Safe presents the workbook for older drivers and their families, “Beyond Driving With Dignity,” written by Matt Gurwell with an entry by Lauren Watral of Raleigh Geriatric Care Management. It is specifically designed to help families by providing a “roadmap to success” in the quest to overcome the challenges of an older driver’s safety. It is designed to be used by families as a tool to meet the demands of a potential problem suspected of the senior driver’s ability to remain a safe driver. To order and to receive the benefits of a discount, go to: http://keepingussafe.org/workbookrgcm.htm

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declining health

My mom is 85 and has had Parkinson’s for about 10 years. It has severely impacted her life – she used to knit, crochet, sew, and do crafts, but now lacks the fine motor skills to attempt any of those. She had to go into assisted living last September because it was just too dangerous for her to be at home alone. It took a long time for her to adjust, but she now looks on it as “home.” Her general health is deteriorating, and she’s showing signs of dementia. Truthfully, she’s ready to go, but her heart still beats strong. It’s heartbreaking.

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granddaughter dilemma

elderly driverDriving in the car with my grandfather is like playing Russian Roulette with my life. Every time I get into the car I pray that we get to our destination and back unharmed! I love my grandfather but he likes to drive faster than his age, which is 89. I think the scariest part about driving with my grandfather is that he has horrible balance, which in my eyes makes him close to unfit to drive. He drives a Prius, which he speeds in constantly. The reason for his driving above the speed limit is that the engine is so quiet he says he can’t hear it. I think to myself, “what about just looking at the speedometer like normal people do?” I try to suggest that I might drive but he always says girls can’t drive. What do I do?

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help!

My father-in-law is almost 90 years old. He is physically VERY frail, but still will not go into assisted living. It is beginning to affect my husband & I with work, and living our lives… How can we convince him that it would be much safer and better for everyone? I know he values his independence, but this is really becoming an issue. He sees this as “the end of the line”, even though assisted living places today are not like that…. Help!!!

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