Tag: transportation

welcome to girlfriends with aging parents

senior driving: when is it time to stop?

As a child of aging parents we ask ourselves this very question. As a Certified Driver Examiner in the province of Ontario, I know when it’s time. Unfortunately senior don’t either.

In this province, every driver has to go for a written and vision test when they reach the age of 80, and every 2 years after. These folks got their drivers license before Driver Education classes began and there were not so many vehicles on the road.

My father (aged 87) told me he did his drivers test, landed on someone’s front lawn and the examiner jumped out of the car and threw the license at him saying “You passed”.

If someone is involved in a car accident (whether they caused it or not) at age 65 or over, they automatically have to go for a road test, which is a regulation.

In this province, the only one that can suspend a driver’s license for medial reasons is a doctor. It’s the law. When the family speaks to a senior’s doctor regarding concerns for unsafe driving, the doctor has to put the license under medical suspension. The file then goes to Medical Review at the Ministry of Transportation. The suspended driver has to prove they are competent to drive and the process begins. They have up to 3 years to take driving test to regain their license and have to see a doctor to establish that they are healthy enough to drive. Every province and state should adopt the same rules, as we frequently travel to each others country.

If you find yourself in the position of caring for your elderly parents, get some support.

Continue on with YOUR life, do the things that make you happy. Go to the movies; enjoy watching and participating in sporting events that you love. Perhaps get counseling. I did, it really helped. It helped me deal with their aging brains and not get upset at the weird things they said to me.

Seniors don’t realize their senses have diminished; their reaction time has lessened. It’s a known fact that seniors can suffer mini strokes while driving, usually lasting for only second, but that’s all it takes – right?

Once a senior has failed a driving test, the family usually becomes unhappy because they realize now they have to drive the senior around to appointments. But as a caring society, we have to stop being selfish – we can’t have unsafe drivers on the road.

I know the Cancer Society will arrange for transportation if a person is undergoing treatment. In my town the mobile bus (for people with disabilities) will come directly to the house to pick you up if you call before and arrange a time. There are options. If you inquire you can find assistance in your town.

Also, try to pace yourself and get support, from us, from other family members, from neighbors. It will all work out and you will be blessed for your efforts.

Submitted by Carol

 

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breaking away as caregiver

I have worked as a Assisted Living Administrator for many years. I have seen it all! My first piece of advice is to understand, as our parents grow old, they grow even younger at a very fast rate. They revert back to not wanting to go any where with out mom (that has now became you). Basically, they are fearful of doing or being someplace and not having that trusted family member with them. For example, when they forget how to do simple things like fill out a check for a Dr. Office co-pay, they are uncertain & look for your help. Or getting on the facility van and then … what should they do? They will be thinking, “What if I don’t know when to get off the bus?”

If you have children, you will remember when you first put them out into the big world alone. You went with them as they first walked to school, you would come eat lunch with them because it was all too overwhelming at first. Yes, you even brought a set of clean clothes just in case they couldn’t make it to the bathroom in time.

Lord forbid as a grown-up (that has managed a whole lifetime successfully) would have a bowel accident in the dinning room of a assisted living facility with 80 other people watching. This is what is going on in your parents minds! You may not even know that Dad wipes the milk off Mom’s chin at the dinner table or that he cleans her up late into the evening because shortly after bedtime she can’t make it in time to the bathroom. Some things Dad may not share with you.

See the picture I’m painting? You are the only one at this time they trust to cover for them. So, like we did with our children, we break away slowly. This allows our parents to gain trust in the facility. Good idea to stop taking them in your car. Instead,  ride on the van with them a few times, but let the caregiver do the work, the transfers, help getting their coat on etc, etc.

Our seniors need to use what they have paid for. You can tell them, “Dad we are paying $150. a month because the facility has transportation for you. Then move it on to “You have a appointment, you ride in the van and I will be at the Dr. Office when you arrive”. Again, letting the caregiver do all the assistance. Just be with them. Get where I’m going with this? Do the same with the dining room, eat with them, and then slowly start backing off once you can see they are making friends. It’s a long road, but its one I have seen work many times. Blessings and praise to you for your heart of gold, and the willingness to ask for help. Anyone else there?

I have other tips on my site LaneSeniorLiving.com  written by: Tricia Pruen

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it takes a village….

Everyone:

This Friday, at 8:45 am, is my father’s initial hour visit to set up the radiation schedule.  The evaluation will take an hour and then the visits, to actually do radiation, will be shorter.

I haven’t talked to any doctors yet,  just set up the first visit.  It’s at Valley General Hospital, on the first floor of the north tower opposite the north parking garage.

The radiation appointments are EVERY DAY except holidays and weekends.  None have been set up.  There are times available between 8:30 am and 10 am and we don’t have to make the decision until the first appointment.  The doctor has to see him to determine how much time for appointments, etc.  We’ll know more then.

We need to figure out what time will work.  Appointments everyday are not easy on any of us. With everyone’s work schedules & the grandchildren’s activities, I know each of you are busy.  I would like to get together and meet as a family to see how to move forward.

I’m going to take him on Friday and if  Sue wants to come also, that’s fine. It should be easy to get in and out of the garage.  I’ve got the handicapped parking permit that I could leave with my father and he could bring it each day in case there is an open spot in front of the entry.

Thanks in advance for your help!  Me

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