My grandmother suddenly lost her partner last April and didn’t want to live alone in their traditional apartment. My parents offered to take her in to their home and have admitted to my sister and me that they didn’t put a lot of thought into it before asking her. They did tell her however, that while they are away four months of the year wintering in Texas, that she would have to go stay with her other daughter in town, my aunt. My aunt can be difficult and that only lasted for one month before my grandmother insisted on coming back to my parents house. She said she is not going back there next year. This year it worked out okay because my sister and her husband are temporarily staying at my parents house for the next two months while they are away and can look after my grandmother. Next year will be a problem. My mother worries about her and doesn’t want her staying in the house alone. My grandmother says she will be fine!
One of the greatest joys for my parents is going to Texas for the winter. My grandmother used to join them occasionally but says now that she doesn’t want to be that far from her doctor. My mom would really like for my grandmother to look into the retirement home a mile and a half from their home but doesn’t know how to bring it up. She is in reasonably good health and my mom feels that having activities to do will keep her younger. My grandmother doesn’t want any part of it. Meanwhile, my parents have rearranged many aspects of their live for her. My dad pretty much lives in his bedroom but wouldn’t dream of hurting my grandmothers feelings by asking her to leave. I am from the polite family, so there is a lot of silent suffering going on! My mom wants to start a conversation with my grandmother about checking out the retirement place but doesn’t know how to go about it. I am looking for advice from people who have been in this situation to know what to and not to say. I should mention that while I love my grandmother very much, she has been spoiled all her life and everyone always caters to her. How can I help my mom find the courage and words to make this a win win for everyone.
Thank you in advance for any words of wisdom. Submitted by Mechelle